Martin Eisenstadt’s Blog

A recently declassified Marine recruiting video done by the Harding Institute under contract from the U.S.Marine Corps. Our mandate from the Commandant was, “Marty, we need some hardcore recruiting videos to grab the attention of America’s youth. They watch R-rated movies, play violent videogames and most are on drugs. If we’re fighting for the hearts and minds of the next generation, we have to compete aggressively. What we need is the equivalent of what they call those ‘red band trailers’ for the movies.”

Unfortunately, this video was rejected and classified on the basis that it “reflects poorly on the Marines, sends the wrong message and defies modern standards of good taste and decency.” Under the new Obama/Gates regime, there is a new standard of transparency in the Department of Defense and this video has just been declassified. The Harding Institute is still hopeful that the video will prove to be an effective online recruiting tool. Please note, though, that this video is NOT appropriate for minors and should NOT be viewed by anyone under the age of 21 and probably not by people at work.

I’m still recovering from a wild weekend centered around the White House Correspondents Dinner (aka “nerdprom”). The good news is Time Magazine annointed me one of “The Twitterati” and included my tweets in their summary of events at the WHCD (along with my Twittering pals Ashton Kutcher, Meghan McCain, Newt Gingrich, CNN’s Howie Kurtz and the NYT’s David Carr.) The other good news is at least the media is starting to forget that silly nonsense from that November New York Times story about me “not existing” and the’re getting back to properly calling me a “former McCain aide.” I knew with time (and yes, with “Time”), my reputation would be restored. Meghan and I had a good laugh over it on our way to the Capitol File/Qatar Airways after party.

As for the course of events that night itself, you could go back and read all about it on my Twitter thing at http://www.twitter.com/MartyEisenstadt but here are a few highlights:

50. Despite my swine flu scare this week (the Drs. cleared me 70%), I DO intend to go to WH corresp. dinner. Who needs a date? @anamariecox10:07 AM May 7th

38. Just showed up at T. Haddad’s place. My assist. gave me the wrong start time. Awkward. time soon to pick up Marnie for #nerdprom.3:42 AM May 9th

37. Ran into Val Kilmer, still on couch at Haddad’s house. We’re splitting cab to #nerdprom when he stands up. Could be a while.3:53 AM May 9th

34. @carr2n We gave Kilmer smelling salts this PM. He should be OK for dinner. Hope I get vomit stains off tux. #nerdprom 4:47 PM May 9th

32. @MVHelsing #nerdprom Please! Let’s meet where we arranged. My socks are wet and I’m starting to sneeze again.2:57 PM May 9th

31. @rachelsklar #nerdprom. Three teenagers died because of this “Captain” and his reckless behavior. Will ask him how that makes him feel.7:02 PM May 9th

17. @GottaLaff Now if you’ll excuse me, David Shuster just threw a bread roll at me. #nerdprom9:10 PM May 9th

15. #nerdprom Todd Palin just gave me unsolicited back rub. I think he’s drunk. Beer in Alaska must be lower %. And where exactly is Sarah?10:01 PM May 9th

14. #nerdprom But that’s because Todd remembers me from Minneapolis shopping spree. We shared a chuckle.10:03 PM May 9th

12. Todd P. just thnked me for rehabbing Sarah’s image. “Now people think she never said Africa gaffe. We owe you Marty.” #nerdprom10:33 PM May 9th

11. @TheSleuth I’m looking for Marnie. She was with Holder, no? Where’d they go? Drinks? #nerdprom11:18 PM May 9th in reply to TheSleuth

9. Has anyone seen @MVHelsing ? We were supposed to meet at Bloomberg’s afterparty. Boring. where is everyone? #nerdparty I’ll ask Ludacris.12:10 AM May 10th

8. RT @MVHelsing Corcoran scene crazy. Wolf is definitely Blitzered. Complimnted Whoopi Gold. on great MC’ing tonite. #nerdprom M, get me in! 12:26 PM May 10th

7. @pwgavin Drop the name dropping and get me into the Cap.File party already! Bouncer says he doesn’t have my name on list #nerdprom12:29 PM May 10th in reply to pwgavin

4. @dralanjlipman Speaking of @MVHelsing , has anyone seen my date from last night’s #nerdprom ? She was last seen with Kilmer & Blitzer.about 24 hours ago in reply to dralanjlipman
[Sadly, blog comments still not working here, but you can find me at my very own Facebook fan page just search for Martin Eisenstadt on FB]

Here are some Twitter highlights from the second night of Passover. For all my Twittering, go to Twitter.com/MartyEisenstadt.  I just heard that FoxNews is inviting me to the White House Correspondents Dinner, but I’m sure there’ll be a strict no-Twitter rule there.

# Wolf said, “well, Marty, if you’re REALLY stuck for 2nd night seder, I suppose you could come by for a nosh.” I took as an invite 5:26 PM Apr 9th

# I guess Wolf wasn’t invited to the Obama WH seder tonight either. I pick some marigolds for Mrs. B. 5:30 PM Apr 9th

# Finally ask John King if he got CNN gig ’cause his dad is Larry. He’s offended, and says Larry’s not related. 5:54 PM Apr 9th

# Koppels arrive. Ted; Andrea, her hubbie Ken Pollack. Ken upset he wasn’t invited to Kristols’ last night for neocon seder. Awkward. 6:18 PM Apr 9th

# @anamariecox So I guess R.Maddow not coming to Wolf’s seder tonight. That explains why I got her slot at the table. 6:27 PM Apr 9th in reply to anamariecox

# Wolf still on the air w/brk’ing news on the Somali pirate thing. He texted wife to start without him. I should be punditing on air. 6:35 PM Apr 9th

# J. King was eager to step in and lead seder (wanted magic wall for exodus story). But Wolf called; he’s off air, & on the way. 7:04 PM Apr 9th

# The Blitz is in the house. Takes over for King in time for Rabbi Jose reference. Good thing Lou Dobbs not there. 8:01 PM Apr 9th

# King here with wife Dana Bash. Her face is what it is, but in person, I finally get what John saw in her. Nice figure, bawdy jokes. 8:04 PM Apr 9th

# Blitzer conducts the whole seder standing up and pacing aimlessly. Recline, I tell him, recline! 8:12 PM Apr 9th

# Dana gets text from Reggie Love at WH seder. King wonders why she gets text, not him. I sense tension. 8:37 PM Apr 9th

# Dana says Reggie texts: “Prez. loves the seder. Jokes that it makes him feel less Muslim with each cup of wine.” 8:52 PM Apr 9th

# Bitter Herbs, party of 1: Ted Koppel asks Wolf about job opps. at CNN. Wolf starts singing Dayenu and pretends not to hear. 10:01 PM Apr 9th

# Amanpour’s kid asking Wolf very detailed questions over whereabouts of Afikomen. Refuses to even look unless he narrows down search. 10:23 PM Apr 9th

# A Reggie text frm WH: “Sash&Mal looked for matza in Resolute Desk. Thought they were in Nat. Treasure. found old microphone.” 10:59 PM Apr 9th

# Ted K. says ChadGadYa song is parable for Bush Admin. I say 4 cups wine don’t mix with his meds. 11:29 PM Apr 9th

# Angling to get invite to Chris Matthew’s Easter Sunday dinner. Catholics at MSNBC are like Jews at CNN; good to know for a pundit like me.1:31 AM Apr 11th

For those of you following me on Twitter, you already know that I was at a very neocon seder tonight at Bill Kristol’s house. (or “tweder” as a twittered seder is apparently now called) For those of you hip to the Twitter, you can see all the tweets at my Twitter home page, or over to the right on my blog. For those of you old-schoolers who still rely on blogs, here’s a quick look at my tweets from last night:

• # Heading to the Kristol’s for seder tonight. Irving’s a bit long winded, but Bill’s wife a great cook. Couldn’t turn it down.

  # Is it rude to Tweet from a seder? Just heading to Kristol’s house now. I see Scheunemann’s car. Could be awkward since election.

  # Wolfowitz just walked in. Still revered in our circles. He’s much more relaxed since “leaving” World Bank.

  # Richard Perle brought a kosher-for-Passover wine from California. Big debate if that really counts as kosher.

  # One of Doug Feith’s kids wants to do the 4 questions. We joke that “why on this night couldn’t we find WMDs?” should be a fifth.

  # Irving Kristol compares Jews in Egypt to modern times. “Next year in…Tehran!” He’s still got matzah balls of steel.

  # Wolfie’s shikse girlfriend faux pas #1, re: Mrs. Kristol’s famous brisket: “I love the Texas BBQ beef!”

  # Afikomen: We all tell the kids that we know it’s there somewhere; they’re just not looking hard enough. They demand UN inspectors.

  # Neocon seder update: We just opened door for Elijah. OMG, it’s Joe Lieberman at the door! Making the rounds. L’chaim!

  # Solved Passover mystery. Irving Kristol was lobbyist for Maxwell House in the 60s. Got them Hagadah naming rights for 70yrs.

  # Kids still couldn’t find the afikomen. Bill K. told them they just didn’t look hard enough. three kids cried, and one pee’d.

  # Mrs. Kristol wants all hands on deck in kitchen. I’d rather play Wii with Feith’s kids. Wolfie & the shikse left early.

  # For the record, Bill finally told me that there WAS no Afikomen; he thought his dad had hid it, and Irving thought Bill had. Oops.

  # Tomorrow night: A very CNN second night seder at the Blitzers!

Just crawling back from long night at the Gridiron dinner in DC. All the media elites there. Curious Obama missed it, but Joe Biden very funny making fun of him. I guess it’s not as “funny” as Leno. Still, seeing Susan Page as Ann Coulter was a hoot. Jake Tapper and Wolf Blitzer battled it out for best tuxes. (white tie, natch). As for me, I’m still trying to get the Peter Orszag’s grenadine stains out of my lapel. There was an incident at the bar with Tim Geitner.  Let’s just hope the rental place doesn’t deduct my deposit, otherwise, I’m asking Tim for a bailout.  The Renaissance bar open late fortunately after the show. And yes, Donna Brazile still knows how to knock them down with the best of them.

 ”Rush Limbaugh is a corpulent brute who’s making money off the self-destruction of the GOP… about 3 hours agoRush Limbaugh is a corpulent brute who’s making money off the self-destruction of the GOP. How does he sleep at night? Right: Oxy.”

That’s what I twittered a couple hours ago over an Irish coffee while watching FoxNews. Clearly, that’s an incendiary combination.   Was I too harsh on Rush? Hard to say yet. But after Rush bullied Michael not-so-Steele into apologizing to him - all for the sake of Rush’s precious ratings, then that’s the only conclusion a fair-minded member of the grown-up wing of the Republican Party can come to.  A warning to all GOP members of Congress: the “R” after your name stands for “Republican”, not “Rushin.”

I had quite the day at the Omni Shoreham today. CPAC had a mixup with my registration in the morning. Ran into Joe the Plumber on what was apparently one of his many trips to the bathroom. And learned that I probably shouldn’t Twitter while drunk. (apologies to Rep. Michelle Bachmann AND Katherine Harris).  Glad to see CPAC’ers embracing the new technology. Still getting the hang of it myself, so I’m sorry if I’m not doing it right.  I’m told it should work on my new Blackberry, but that was on the fritz most of the day.  Used my trusty Thinkpad instead. Looking forward to Mitt and Newt tomorrow.

Sorry, yes, I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated the blog. Frankly, I’ve been swamped writing my upcoming book, which now has the title:  “I Am Martin Eisenstadt: One Man’s Wildly Inappropriate Adventures with the Last Republicans.”  You can even pre-order it on Amazon here.

In the meantime, though, as a long-time user of Facebook, I was shocked to learn that my account has been “disabled” because the Facebook corporation says that I don’t exist.  How many times do I have to tell people: I exist, I am real!  This is especially hurtful as I was Facebook friends with a number of people from across the political and punditocrical spectrum. Here’s a quick look at some of my erstwhile “friends”:

Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa), Chris Cillizza (Wash. Post), Markos Moulitsas (DailyKos), Shushannah Walshe (FoxNews), Craig Crawford (CQ), Joe Johns (CNN), Jay Newton-Small (Time), Beth Fouhy (AP), Geneva Overholser (U. Missouri Journalism dean), Ali Velshi (CNN), Jeffrey Toobin (CNN), Miles O’Brien (CNN), James Fallows (the Atlantic), Adam Sharp (C-Span).

These are all good people and I still fondly regard them as my friends and colleagues. I hope for their own sakes that Facebook does not now put them on some sort of “existence watchlist” - dubious of their own mortal coil.  I can assure you, Facebook, Ali Velshi is real!! (you can tell by the vests).

My assistant Danny tells me that Facebook is now very old news. Hardly worth the effort anymore. Even my mother, Connie Beane Eisenstadt is now on Facebook (so I know it’s uncool)!  Danny says the hot new thing is Twitter (and even that is bordering on old news). I still don’t quite understand it, but for the record, here is my Twitter page: http://twitter.com/MartyEisenstadt  As I move closer to my book publication date (hopefully in June), I’ll be able to update more frequently.

Finally, I keep nagging Danny to fix the problem with the comments. Yes, we know it’s broken, but in the meantime, if you have something to say, just email me.

With the inauguration coming up, a lot of people are going to be celebrating Barack Obama as the first African-American president.  With no disrespect to Mr. Obama and his unique multicultural heritage, I feel it important to set the record straight:  Warren G. Harding, the namesake of my beloved Institute, was in fact, the first African-American president.  One need look no further than the New York Times. I spent the holidays with our benefactor, Clifford Harding III, and he authorized me to spread what until now was mostly a family secret. He said, “The family is ready to come clean about how proud we’ve always been of our great uncle’s contribution to the mosaic of American diversity.”  As President Harding himself once said, “America’s present need is not heroics, but healing; not nostrums but normalcy; not revolution, but restoration.” 

So on January 20th, let’s all remember: Before Obama. Before Clinton. There was Harding.

I just wanted to let everybody know that I’ll be hosting and analyzing incoming President Barack Obama’s inaugural speech on January 20, 2009, in Park City, Utah.  I’ll also be making an announcement on behalf of the Harding family congratulating incoming President Obama, and acknowledging the long-standing rumor that Warren G. Harding was actually the first African-American president. I’ll be available for interviews and analysis at:

Treasure Mountain Inn
255 Main St.
Park City, Utah
9:30am-Noon, January 20, 2009

Washington is being dominated by the false euphoria of the nation’s liberal elite this week, so I felt that I would be at home in the solidly red state of Utah where I could give a more objective analysis of this important day. I’ve been authorized to spread the message that the Harding family is ready to come clean about how proud they’ve always been of the 29th president’s contribution to the mosaic of American diversity.