I’m not the only one who’s noticed tabloid website RadarOnline’s single-minded obsession with my client Mel Gibson (see my last post here). The Los Angeles Times wrote about it just the other day. But I believe I am the first to notice this curious connection: David J. Pecker, Chairman and CEO of American Media, which owns RadarOnline, has personally given $4000 to Rahm Emanuel’s campaigns over the years, and $14,350 to Emmanuel pal Harry Reid and the Nevada Democratic Party this year alone, according to FEC records.

As you may know, Rahm Emmanuel - President Obama’s Chief of Staff - happens to be the brother of Ari Emanuel, CEO of the William Morris Endeavor (WME) agency, who fired Mel Gibson as a client last week. Ari (often referred to as the model for Entourage’s Ari Gold) famously has gone on the record castigating Mel Gibson for his anti-semitic remarks.

Update: Some have doubted any direct link between RadarOnline and Ari Emanuel’s William Morris Endeavor, so my crack research staff figured it out:  Remember Octomom? In August, 2009, Fox aired a special called “Octomom: The Incredible Unseen Footage.”  According to Entertainment Weekly, the show was produced by Craig Piligian, and based on exclusive footage shot by RadarOnline. Guess who’s Pilian’s agent? None other than Sean Perry - who heads up the reality show division at William Morris Endeavor. In other words, WME and RadarOnline have been in bed before, and both of them now have their fingerprints all over the Gibson scandal.

Of course, anyone who’s read my book, I Am Martin Eisenstadt: One Man’s (Wildly Inappropriate) Adventures with the Last Republicans knows full well that I had a bit of an altercation with Rahm Emmanuel at the third presidential debate during the ‘08 campaign. But if you’d read further, you’d also know that I myself am a loyal client of the William Morris Endeavor agency, and they represented me on my book deal. So I certainly don’t want to demean WME’s integrity in any way or say anything libelous about the powerful and handsome Emanuel brothers (despite the fact that they have still not attached their client Ben Affleck to a feature film where he would play me!).

Now don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying there’s some sort of vast Jewish conspiracy against Mel Gibson. Of course not. (Since I’m half-Jewish myself, I wouldn’t know which side of the conspiracy to be on.) But as I said before: This does strike me as some sort of delayed cultural payback for Mr. Gibson exercising his freedom of expression for his film “The Passion of the Christ.” In any case, it’s worth remembering what my old friend Deep Throat once told Woodward and Bernstein: Follow the money.

PS: I’d wager that John Edwards would also be mighty curious to see the connection between the National Enquirer and Rahm Emanuel. You’ll recall that it was the Enquirer that nearly got a Pulitzer for exposing Edwards’ indiscretions during the ‘08 campaign. Coincidence? Or just plain chance.

I’m finding that representing a titan of American entertainment like Mel Gibson can be quite challenging for a contrition crisis management consultant such as myself.  While it’s gratifying to see that certain gossipy websites like HollyScoop are responsibly covering the story, there are other less reputable sites such as RadarOnline who continually try to pour gasoline on the inflammatory personal life of Mr. Gibson. I had my own run-in with Radar when one of their so-called reporters, wrote this to my assistant Danny the other day:

Please contact me on 323 658 2xxx

Danny replied:

From: Danny [mailto:daniel.sadler@eisenstadtgroup.com]
Sent: Thursday, July 15, 2010 12:31 PM
To: Renfrew, Cliff
Subject: Cliff - thanks for the email…

Cliff - Sorry, but I’m not authorized to speak directly to reporters myself. But if you’re interested in speaking with my boss, Martin Eisenstadt, CEO of the EisenstadtGroup, I’m happy to pass on the message and have him call you. thanks, Danny

To which the curt Cliff replied:

I do not think you guys are legitimate please call me asap 323 658 2xxx.

 Cliff Renfrew

So I did. I left a nice message on Mr. Renfrew’s answering machine, and despite my busy travel days (as you can imagine, it’s been a little hectic around the office), I dictated the following email, which Danny promptly sent from my account:

From: MartyEisenstadt [mailto:martin@eisenstadtgroup.com]
Sent: Thursday, July 15, 2010 2:50 PM
To: Renfrew, Cliff
Cc: daniel.sadler@eisenstadtgroup.com
Subject: Cliff - re: Mr. Gibson

Cliff - per your request, I just left a message on your phone.  Forgive me, I’m traveling today, and Danny had a hard time reaching me earlier.

 

As for your email, I must say that to hear a tabloid site that’s been trafficking in unconfirmed audiotapes from Mr. Gibson questioning MY legitimacy gave me a little chuckle.  But I respect your chutzpah and I’m happy to answer your questions.

 

As to the issue at hand, we think those accusing Mr. Gibson show that this is another example of the Hollywood and Washington elites misreading the mood of the country. I find it a curious coincidence that the release of these alleged tapes was timed to the death of Mr. Gibson’s longtime agent Ed Limato, followed closely by Ari Emanuel’s swift dismissal of Mr. Gibson from the William Morris Endeavor agency.  The nature of Mr. Emanuel’s fraternal relationship with President Obama’s chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, only makes me think that this has nothing to do with a man having a heated discussion with his child’s Russian mother.  Rather, this strikes me as some sort of delayed cultural payback for Mr. Gibson exercising his freedom of expression for his film “The Passion of the Christ.”  After making untold millions for his agency and for his friends in the Hollywood elite, it is sad to see their galling lack of gratitude and loyalty to him.

 

I hope that helps.

 

Sincerely,

Martin Eisenstadt

CEO & Founder, EisenstadtGroup

ME:ds

To which Mr. Renfrew of the esteemed RadarOnline replied even more curtly:

It doesn’t.

Now I’ve dealt with plenty of ochre-tinted journalists in my days in Washington, and I certainly hold no grudges against anyone who plies in the murky waters of gossip, innuendo and rumor - I wouldn’t have a career in this town if I did.  In fact, some of my best friends in Washington are so-called gossip columnists like Patrick Gavin of Politico, or Nikki Schwab of the Examiner and even Amy Argetsinger of the Washington Post (Amy, sorry I spilled that drink on you at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner - my assistant took care of the dry cleaning, right?).

But TMZ-wannabe sites like RadarOnline are becoming part of the story when they alone are dribbling out clearly edited “audiotapes” of Mr. Gibson free from the scrutiny of any legitimate journalists.  For all we know, Radar has simply edited together Mel’s monologues from his past movies (the similarities to Lethal Weapon 3 are striking) and cut them together with the voice of Anna Chapman, one of the Russian sleeper spies.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
July 14, 2010

Washington Crisis Management Consultants Accept Mel Gibson as Client
‘Racist Slurs are All About Context’

Washington, DC – The Washington-based EisenstadtGroup today announced its intention to accept Oscar®-winning actor/director Mel Gibson as a client. “We understand that Mr. Gibson is going through a tumultuous personal time right now, but we also realize his enormous talent and potential as an artist and advocate for public and philanthropic causes,” said Martin Eisenstadt, CEO and Founder of the EisenstadtGroup, a crisis management consulting firm.

“Regrettably much of Hollywood, including Mr. Gibson’s former agency, has turned its back on him,” said Eisenstadt. “But Mel still embodies the hopes and dreams of millions of Americans, and especially in this campaign season, we feel that he can give voice to the unheard mainstream.”

“We’ve seen many situations like this, and we generally find that after a period of public silence, then penitence, there comes a moment of redemption, acceptance and ultimately a stronger level of public support,” added Eisenstadt. “We pride ourselves in the field of ‘contrition management’ and we’ve already begun drafting the appropriate apologies.”

“Even though we are aware of the n-word’s adverse historical connotation, racist slurs are all about context,” said Eisenstadt.  “Calling Barack Obama, Thurgood Marshall or your next door neighbor a ‘n***r’ would be inappropriate and legitimate grounds for public ostracization. But in the privacy of your own home, to drunkenly accuse your significant other of sexually provoking a ‘pack of n****rs,’ well, who hasn’t done that? And according to that standard of judgment, we’d all be guilty.”

The EisenstadtGroup has a 14-year track record as one of Washington’s preeminent personal crisis management consultants, which has represented numerous public figures from the political, business and entertainment sectors, including Eliot Spitzer, Sen. Larry Craig, New York Mayor Rudolph Giuliani, and Gov. Sarah Palin. A critically-acclaimed author, Eisenstadt also serves as a Sr. Fellow at the Harding Institute for Freedom & Democracy, and has regularly appeared on MSNBC, CNN, the Los Angeles Times, NPR, USAToday and Time Magazine.

For more information, or to schedule an interview with Mr. Eisenstadt, please contact his assistant Daniel Sadler at Daniel.Sadler@EisenstadtGroup.com.

– # # # –

Remember Sarah Palin’s overly paid makeup artists from the presidential campaign - Amy Strozzi, Heather Cummings, and Tifanie White - well they all secured another Emmy nomination yesterday for their work on “So You Think You Can Dance.” The makeup team made headlines in the final weeks of the campaign because FEC reports showed that they were among the highest salaried workers on the campaign.

By my calculations, Amy had the highest salary on the campaign - making close to $70,000 for her work doing Palin’s makeup from the RNC convention through the election, and her assistant Tifanie made almost $40,000 for doing John and Cindy McCain’s. (Heather just came in to help at the convention.) In my book, I Am Martin Eisenstadt: One Man’s (Wildly Inappropriate) Adventures with the Last Republicans, I reported that this was undoubtedly a source of tension between Cindy and Sarah:  that Sarah got the top makeup artist, Amy; while Cindy got stuck with her assistant, Tifanie.

Sadly, still no Emmy nomination (or indeed, any professional tv or film credits) for the elusive fourth makeup artist who was paid $900 for flying from LA to Minneapolis for the convention: Tracy Thorp, who’s specialty was apparently spray-on tans.

Final note: though it was widely reported at the time that Strozzi had the highest salary on the campaign, what was interesting in the FEC reports was that the top three campaign officials - Steve Schmidt, Charlie Black, and Rick Davis - got no paid “salaries” at all.  Instead, all three were paid through their respective consulting companies in such a way that it was impossible to sort out what they actually made. Somehow I think they all did just fine. As for me?  I did the honorable thing and worked for free: Country first!

I’ve had a very distressing week.  Internet allegations, rumor and innuendo have again focused on my alleged involvement with a so-called “Elena Kagan Sex Tape.”  A promo for the tape has come out conveniently the week of Ms. Kagan’s confirmation hearing.  I see that the Atlantic Monthly has (predictably) accused me of being the out-of-focus man in the tape, whose face is almost entirely obscured.  Ha!  Much more likely - as fellow conservative blogger Robert Stacy McCain has speculated - is that the man in question is none other than Will Folks, the man who claims to have had an affair with South Carolina gubernatorial hopeful Nikki Haley.  The tape in question is amateurish at best, using sophomoric trickery to get Elena to refer to Clarence Thomas as “a long, enormous justice subservient to this tight butt.”  Did Elena really say this?  I don’t know.  But trust me, if I had shot a sex tape with Elena Kagan, at least it would be in focus!

Now, of course, I tried to head off this nasty distraction a full month ago when I bravely stepped forward to admit that I’d shared certain “intimacies” with Ms. Kagan.  Thankfully, that admission and my subsequent apology to my friends at the Heritage Foundation has been duly reported by USAToday, NPR and ABC News among other mainstream press.

The one good note this week is I am glad to see that my old friend Sen. Lindsay Graham took my advice and focused not on Kagan’s impenetrable sexuality, but rather on her indisputable Jewishness. I tweeted Lindsay over the weekend and suggested his now infamous set-up line about where Elena spent her Christmas.  Like Roger Rabbit’s pavlovian response to finishing “shave-and-a-haircut” with “two bits,” I knew that Elena’s upper Westside genetics would force her to give her “like all good Jews, at a Chinese restaurant” response. Best soundbite of the hearings? Yes, and one that inevitably reminded all Americans that she’s an upper Westside Jew.  Well played, Sen. Graham!  She fell for it hook, line and schtinker.  And for all you doubters, just look at my video from a month ago revealing this strategy.

In an effort to get out in front of the Elena Kagan sextape story and issue my videotaped denial, it seems I may have inadvertently offended my good friends at The Heritage Foundation.  So yesterday, I issued them a very public apology that was printed in the biggest newspaper in America: USA TODAY.  For those of you who may not have stayed at a Radisson last night, here’s the article:

US Republican Apologises for Elena Kagan “Sextape”

Conservative Think Tank Fellow Apologizes for Elena Kagan Sextape: Denies Tie to Heritage Foundation Event

Wednesday, 2 June 2010

Washington, DC – A conservative think tank fellow today apologized for giving the impression that an alleged “sextape” of US Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan was taken during an event at the Washington-based Heritage Foundation. In a statement issued today, GOP consultant Martin Eisenstadt said, “If I gave anyone the impression that the Heritage Foundation was in any way involved with the purported videotape incident with Ms. Kagan, then I would like to apologize. The Heritage Foundation is a stalwart of the American conservative movement and would never knowingly be involved in any events that might lead to such a sordid video recording.”

Eisenstadt was responding to a recent YouTube video in which he denies the existence of a sextape, but acknowledges that he had intimate relations with Ms. Kagan following an event with The Heritage Foundation.

According to its own website, The Heritage Foundation was a think tank founded in 1973 whose mission is to “formulate and promote conservative public policies based on the principles of free enterprise, limited government, individual freedom, traditional American values, and a strong national defense.”

Eisenstadt himself is Sr. Fellow at the Harding Institute for Freedom & Democracy, a different Washington think tank with no official ties to the Heritage Foundation. An expert on Near East political and military affairs, Eisenstadt has been an adviser to numerous Republican candidates, including John McCain and Sarah Palin.

For those of you who have seen my videotaped denial, you know that the incident in question took place after Think Tank Softball League game between my Harding Institute team and the Heritage Foundation.  Of course, those of you who have read my book “I Am Martin Eisenstadt,” also know from Chapter 9 (entitled “When Think Tanks Play Softball“) that I have something of an ongoing rivalry with the Heritage team. And though that chapter details the 2008 season, for those of you who still doubt my Kagan story, I simply point you to a reference to our 2009 game with Heritage on the Harding Institute website. Again, my sincerest apologies to the Heritage Foundation, the Think Tank League and to the attorneys at Dickstein Shapiro (who recommended Kagan as a softball ringer) for dragging all of you into this controversy.

I’ve been hearing Washington “chatter” all Memorial Day weekend about the rumor that there is some sort of so-called sextape involving myself and Supreme Court nominee Elena Kagan.  So I took it upon myself to get out in front of the rumors and categorically deny the existence of said tape.  I can only assume they were started based on the hearsay of a sexual relationship between myself and Solicitor General Kagan. Again, to get in front of the story, I will admit that yes, we did have a single romantic encounter last year, so I instructed my staff to record my recollections of those events in this video:

Iceland’s President Olafur Ragnar Grimsson taunted Fox News’ Neil Cavuto when he talked about Iceland’s “ass-cloud” of a volcano. Is this any way for a head of state to act on US national television? The Harding Institute has filed a formal complaint with both the FCC and the Icelandic embassy in Washington. It’s one thing to have a so-called “natural” disaster like a volcano shut down half the world, but it’s quite another thing to use vulgarity to taint the European Union and Fox News all at once. It’s an outrage!

And lest you think this was an isolated incident, Grimsson continued to taunt American journalists by perpetually referring to his “ass-cloud” on Public Radio International’s show “The World”. You can listen to the clip here: http://media.theworld.org/audio/042020102.mp3

Harding Prizes for Best Crafted Apologies Announced

Tiger Woods, Usher, Rahm Emanuel & Adam Corolla Nab First Annual Hardies

Washington, DC – Over the weekend, the first annual “Harding Prizes” for Best Crafted Apologies of the Year were awarded in a ceremony at American University in Washington, DC.  Tiger Woods won a Hardie in the Sports category, and other winners included Rahm Emmanuel for Politics, Usher for Entertainment and Adam Corolla in a special “Best Twitter Apology” category.

“Anyone who has blundered on the public stage can make an earnest apology,” said Harding Institute Sr. Fellow Martin Eisenstadt, who presided over the ceremony at the Kennedy Political Union at American University. “But the real craft of the perfect apology is in giving the impression of sincere contrition while simultaneously shifting blame, changing the subject or in some other way coming out ahead in the court of public opinion.  That’s both an art and a science, and it should be recognized for its achievement.”

Complete list of nominees and the reasons cited by the awards committee for their achievement:

SPORTS:

Tiger Woods – WINNER – For shifting focus from him being a serial cheater to his wife not being a domestic abuser, and for his follow-up Nike ad in which he invoked his dead father, made money for Nike, and brought the sexy back to golf.
Mark McGwire – For blaming MLB for not having drug testing back then.
Gilbert Arenas – For asking forgiveness from former Wizards owner Abe Pollin, who is dead.
Tony Kornheiser – For going against the grain and refusing to apologize at all to Hannah Storm.POLITICS:

Rahm Emanuel – WINNER - after calling someone a “f***ing retard” his private apology was accepted publicly by Timothy Shriver (a political ally and Kennedy) on behalf of the Special Olympics, proving that acceptance of apology is more important than apology itself.
Jimmy Carter – For apologizing to the Jews, but then having his apology rejected by the ADL on behalf of the Jews.
Gov. Mark Sanford – For talking about his mistress as a soul mate while apologizing to soon-to-be ex-wife.
Michael Steele – For apologizing to Rush Limbaugh
Gov. Robert McDonnell – For apologizing to his fellow Virginians, rather than African-Americans in particular
Gen. Stanley McChrystal – For apologizing for Afghan civilian deaths on behalf of “International Security Assistance Force” rather than simply the US.

ENTERTAIMENT:

Usher – WINNER – for brazenly insinuating himself into Chris Brown/Rhianna scandal by apologizing to Chris Brown for privately saying he shouldn’t have been jet skiing and flexing his muscles
David Letterman – For getting ahead of the story by apologizing on air for his affairs before people even knew there was a scandal, and casting himself as the victim of an extortion plot
Jesse James – For distracting from his apology to Sandra Bullock by denying she’d made a sex tape with him
John Mayer – For shifting attention away from his use of the N-word to him having a problem with always trying to be clever and witty

TWITTER:

Adam Corolla – WINNER – For apologizing to Manny Pacquiao and the Philippines for comments he made on his podcast. Used apology to plug podcast no one even knew he had.
John Mayer – His Twitter apology gave him excuse to stop incessant tweeting.
Kim Kardashian – For her apology to Demi Moore over her use of “Big Pimpin”
Kanye West – For his awkward apology to Taylor Swift.

Inspired by Warren Harding’s own famous apology, “I am not fit for this office and should never have been here,” the Harding Prizes were selected by an anonymous blue ribbon panel of historians, scholars and communications experts.  Martin Eisenstadt, himself an expert on political apologies, recently wrote the book “I Am Martin Eisenstadt: One Man’s (Wildly Inappropriate) Adventures with the Last Republicans,” available from Farrar, Straus, Giroux. For questions or hi-res still photos, please go to: http://www.hardinginstitute.org/11.html or contact publicist Eli Perle at eli.perle@provocationent.com.
- # # # -

In the tradition of the great awards of our modern era – the Nobel, the Pulitzer, the Oscar – it is with great pride that the Harding Institute inaugurates its annual “Harding Prize.”  Most accomplishments in the human endeavor already have awards, but one that the Institute felt was lacking was for achievement in the art and craft of the rhetorical apologia.  Inspired by Warren Harding’s own succinct apology, “I am not fit for this office and should never have been here,” the Harding Prize will be awarded on an annual basis to the Best Apology in the fields of Politics, Media, Business, Entertainment and Sports.

Anyone who has blundered on the public stage can make an earnest apology, I would argue. But the real craft of the perfect apology is in giving the impression of sincere contrition while simultaneously shifting blame, changing the subject or in some other way coming out ahead in the court of public opinion. That’s both an art and a science, and it should be recognized for its achievement.

The first annual Harding Prizes - affectionately known as “The Hardies” - will be awarded live during a speech I’ll be making at my alma mater, American University, as part of the Kennedy Political Union lecture series. Thursday, April 8, 2010, at 8:15 in Ward 2.  Full details will be released next Monday.