Martin Eisenstadt’s Blog

As the Democratic party wakes up today to a 59 seat hangover courtesy of newly minted Massachusetts Republican Senator Scott Brown, they ask themselves “how did this happen?” and “who did this to us?”  The answers are simple:  a) the nude picture in Cosmo, and b) me.

Anyone who’s read my book, I Am Martin Eisenstadt: One Man’s (Wildly Inappropriate) Adventures with the Last Republicans should have more closely read Chapter 7: “The Jonas Brothers are (probably) Not Terrorists” (based on this blogpost from last year where I warned my boss John McCain not to pick Sarah Palin).  If they had, they would have seen clear and convincing evidence that when it comes to politics (and pop music), women voters will pick the cute guy over the successful woman everytime:  That’s why the Jonas Brothers dethroned Miley Cyrus atop the Teen Beat charts.  That’s why Barack Obama beat Hillary Clinton for the Democratic primary.  And that’s why cutie Joe Biden was a better choice for VP than Sarah Palin. In short, once the Cosmo picture appeared, the smart and accomplished Martha Coakley never had a chance.  It’s simple, electoral demographics: More women vote, and as I say on p. 175 of my book:

At the end of the day, they’ll vote with their hearts, not their heads. And they’ll vote for the cute boy….Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Thankfully, Scott Brown DID read my book. So I can now reveal that a month ago, he rather discretely “hired” me as an unpaid campaign consultant to put out the Cosmo pic.

All I can say to the Democratic party is just be thankful I haven’t yet leaked Brown’s crotchless underwear shots he reportedly did for a certain Japanese “specialty” clothing line. 

Let’s just say that when they do come out, the GOP will have no choice but to nominate Brown for President in 2012.  And by the same logic, Levi Johnston’s upcoming Playgirl spread may just make him the next member of the Palin family to get the VP nod.  You heard it hear first: Brown/Johnston 2012.