Martin Eisenstadt’s Blog

 ”Rush Limbaugh is a corpulent brute who’s making money off the self-destruction of the GOP… about 3 hours agoRush Limbaugh is a corpulent brute who’s making money off the self-destruction of the GOP. How does he sleep at night? Right: Oxy.”

That’s what I twittered a couple hours ago over an Irish coffee while watching FoxNews. Clearly, that’s an incendiary combination.   Was I too harsh on Rush? Hard to say yet. But after Rush bullied Michael not-so-Steele into apologizing to him - all for the sake of Rush’s precious ratings, then that’s the only conclusion a fair-minded member of the grown-up wing of the Republican Party can come to.  A warning to all GOP members of Congress: the “R” after your name stands for “Republican”, not “Rushin.”

I had quite the day at the Omni Shoreham today. CPAC had a mixup with my registration in the morning. Ran into Joe the Plumber on what was apparently one of his many trips to the bathroom. And learned that I probably shouldn’t Twitter while drunk. (apologies to Rep. Michelle Bachmann AND Katherine Harris).  Glad to see CPAC’ers embracing the new technology. Still getting the hang of it myself, so I’m sorry if I’m not doing it right.  I’m told it should work on my new Blackberry, but that was on the fritz most of the day.  Used my trusty Thinkpad instead. Looking forward to Mitt and Newt tomorrow.

Sorry, yes, I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated the blog. Frankly, I’ve been swamped writing my upcoming book, which now has the title:  “I Am Martin Eisenstadt: One Man’s Wildly Inappropriate Adventures with the Last Republicans.”  You can even pre-order it on Amazon here.

In the meantime, though, as a long-time user of Facebook, I was shocked to learn that my account has been “disabled” because the Facebook corporation says that I don’t exist.  How many times do I have to tell people: I exist, I am real!  This is especially hurtful as I was Facebook friends with a number of people from across the political and punditocrical spectrum. Here’s a quick look at some of my erstwhile “friends”:

Sen. Chuck Grassley (R-Iowa), Chris Cillizza (Wash. Post), Markos Moulitsas (DailyKos), Shushannah Walshe (FoxNews), Craig Crawford (CQ), Joe Johns (CNN), Jay Newton-Small (Time), Beth Fouhy (AP), Geneva Overholser (U. Missouri Journalism dean), Ali Velshi (CNN), Jeffrey Toobin (CNN), Miles O’Brien (CNN), James Fallows (the Atlantic), Adam Sharp (C-Span).

These are all good people and I still fondly regard them as my friends and colleagues. I hope for their own sakes that Facebook does not now put them on some sort of “existence watchlist” - dubious of their own mortal coil.  I can assure you, Facebook, Ali Velshi is real!! (you can tell by the vests).

My assistant Danny tells me that Facebook is now very old news. Hardly worth the effort anymore. Even my mother, Connie Beane Eisenstadt is now on Facebook (so I know it’s uncool)!  Danny says the hot new thing is Twitter (and even that is bordering on old news). I still don’t quite understand it, but for the record, here is my Twitter page: http://twitter.com/MartyEisenstadt  As I move closer to my book publication date (hopefully in June), I’ll be able to update more frequently.

Finally, I keep nagging Danny to fix the problem with the comments. Yes, we know it’s broken, but in the meantime, if you have something to say, just email me.

With the inauguration coming up, a lot of people are going to be celebrating Barack Obama as the first African-American president.  With no disrespect to Mr. Obama and his unique multicultural heritage, I feel it important to set the record straight:  Warren G. Harding, the namesake of my beloved Institute, was in fact, the first African-American president.  One need look no further than the New York Times. I spent the holidays with our benefactor, Clifford Harding III, and he authorized me to spread what until now was mostly a family secret. He said, “The family is ready to come clean about how proud we’ve always been of our great uncle’s contribution to the mosaic of American diversity.”  As President Harding himself once said, “America’s present need is not heroics, but healing; not nostrums but normalcy; not revolution, but restoration.” 

So on January 20th, let’s all remember: Before Obama. Before Clinton. There was Harding.

I just wanted to let everybody know that I’ll be hosting and analyzing incoming President Barack Obama’s inaugural speech on January 20, 2009, in Park City, Utah.  I’ll also be making an announcement on behalf of the Harding family congratulating incoming President Obama, and acknowledging the long-standing rumor that Warren G. Harding was actually the first African-American president. I’ll be available for interviews and analysis at:

Treasure Mountain Inn
255 Main St.
Park City, Utah
9:30am-Noon, January 20, 2009

Washington is being dominated by the false euphoria of the nation’s liberal elite this week, so I felt that I would be at home in the solidly red state of Utah where I could give a more objective analysis of this important day. I’ve been authorized to spread the message that the Harding family is ready to come clean about how proud they’ve always been of the 29th president’s contribution to the mosaic of American diversity.

It was an honor having dinner with Barack Obama and some of my fellow neocons last night.  It’s always great to see George Will, Charles Krauthammer, Bill Kristol, and David Brooks again, and especially after we’re finally starting to get our grounding after the election.  I think the neo-con-munity will find a way to try to build bridges with the Obama Administration, and given the cabinet he’s appointed, I suspect we’ll find considerable common ground. Obama, himself, was very gracious with his time and his consideration for our viewpoints, especially those of us who were perhaps not always the most complimentary towards him during the election.I’ll say this for him; he’s a good listener, and that will serve him well, as it did Eisenhower and Ford.

It was terrific being in George’s house again - he’s got the most amazing collection of baseball artifacts, so naturally, with this crowd, the conversation veered towards the upcoming Think Tank Softball League, and Will’s consideration of taking over as commissioner. Not sure he will ultimately, but the League could use a strong hand to guide us. (Heritage has been running roughshod with the rules the last two seasons.) Otherwise, I’m sworn to secrecy on any substantive policy issues that were discussed at the dinner.

Some people have asked me if I was in any way involved with the Rod Blagojevich scandal in Illinois. Upon advice of counsel, I probably shouldn’t say anything. But… am I one of the people who suggested that Jesse Jackson, Jr. was the logical choice to succeed Barack Obama? Of course. But was I the mysterious emissary for Candidate #5? Again, I’ll defer to counsel’s advice. But I will point you to to this new video:

The Jonas Brothers, Jesse Jackson, Jr. (and his Blagojevich-enabled wish for the Illinois Senate seat), and I all share the bandwidth in this strange new mash-up of footage from the Harding Institute to the tune of “This is Real” by Demi Lovato and Joe Jonas from the “Camp Rock” soundtrack.

Why, you ask? It seems that one of my most popular blog posts that is especially controversial among European teenage girls was my assertion that the Jonas Brothers showed poor taste in wearing keffiyehs. So since my associate, Danny Sadler’s last edited video hardly got any hits (sorry, Danny), Poppy Cartwright (aided by our interns Rebecca and Talia) decided to sneak onto Danny’s computer one night and try something a little more hip. It occurred to Poppy that my quote, “this is real, this is me” is virtually the same as the eponymous song from the “Camp Rock” soundtrack. So, with apologies to Demi, the JoBros, their fans (and especially the Disney Corporation), Poppy and the girls present their mixed homage to my continued existence and the renewed purpose of the Harding Institute in this new Obama era. The election is over, and it’s time to embrace the now. So all is forgiven, Jonas Brothers: Obama is in. Cuba and the UN are in. Even scarves are in again.

BTW, in reviewing for this post, I stumbled onto a little noticed post I made on August 4 - nearly a full month before Sarah Palin was announced as John McCain’s running mate. For all you doubters and haters, read the full post here - but here’s the critical conclusion I warned about:

So to my colleagues on the McCain campaign, the take home lesson is don’t count on getting any of those Hillary women to cross over to the GOP (even with a Carly Fiorina or Gov. Sarah Palin in the veep spot). At the end of the day, they’ll vote with their hearts not their heads. And they’ll vote for the cute boy. Barack Obama’s not a celebrity for nothing.

And people wondered why I wasn’t crazy about Palin.

I’ve been in the new adjunct office of the Harding Institute in New York for the last week or two, and it’s been a crazy time. My mother, Connie Bean Eisenstadt, has always told me, “All press is good press, Marty…just so long as the words ‘unindicted co-conspirator’ don’t precede your name.” (You can tell this was a Washington woman who knew her Haldeman’s from her Ehrlichman’s.) So being in the New York Times, and all the media that’s come from that, should be a time for celebration, and in a strange way, it may all wind up being for the better. But for now, let me just expose a little bit of my frustration…

Just today, I headed over to the Gray Lady herself in an futile effort to demand some sort of retraction (turns out they’re more mad than me about the Yes Men hoax), but on my way out, I bumped into my old frenemies Thomas Friedman and Paul Krugman, so we grabbed a coffee together. I congratulated Paul on his Nobel this year, and commiserated with Tom that neither of us had won ours yet. (Tom’s not a bad photographer, either.)
They tried cheering me up about the recent rumors of my non-existence. Paul recounted the story of the attractive young woman who came up to him recently and said how much she loved reading him in the Times. He was flattered, but when she added that “The World Is Flat” is her favorite book, he realized she’d mistaken him for the Fried-ster. So much for the legendary “Nobel Booty Bounce.”

Now, I’m hardly ideological bedfellows with the boys, but we all go back years, and in starting to come to grips with the new Obamocracy that we’re in, it’s clearly in my best interest to reach out to the new regime. Tom, in particular, had some good suggestions on ways to reinvigorate myself and the mission of the Harding Institute in these times. As I was leaving, he even gave me the cell number for his book publisher. So who knows?

Doing your holiday shopping, trying to decide what to wear to the Inaugural Ball, or just need to find decorations for your inauguration party? Then why not give the gift of love and buy your entire family products from The Eisenstadt Group and The Harding Institute for Freedom & Democracy. We’ve just set up two combined online stores:

http://www.cafepress.com/EisenstadtGroup

http://www.printfection.com/Harding

We’re just starting this process, so at first there won’t be too many different designs. But for now…

Before Obama. Before Clinton. There was Harding. That’s right, Warren G. Harding has long been rumored to have been America’s FIRST black president (or at least, a little bit black). Yes we can… honor Warren G. Harding!

On the CafePress site, available items include shirts, outerwear, kids clothing, hats, bags, buttons, posters, banners, cards, calendars, stickers and more.

And at the PrintFection site, you can find T-shirts, sweatshirts, BBQ aprons, mousepads, tote-bags, cutting boards, coasters and more.

Both stores sell a variety of different items, and both sell comparable T-shirts. The CafePress site definitely has more variety in what they sell for us, but we’re told the PrintFection shirts might be of slightly higher quality. But browse and decide for yourself. Either way, you’ll be supporting the proud work we do here at the Eisenstadt Group and the Harding Institute.

And don’t forget: Our designs are even available on sexy ladies camisoles, boxers, or even a thong!

Because nothing says romance like candles, soft music, and the image of Warren G. Harding on your lingerie. Perfect for your Sarah Palin/Joe the Plumber role play!

To order all items, just go to

www.cafepress.com/EisenstadtGroup

or

www.printfection.com/Harding

Stay tuned for some big news coming next week, and until then, Happy Thanksgiving from all of us here at The Eisenstadt Group and The Harding Institute!

Since the election, Poppy Cartwright at the Institute office has been noodling on her computer and has come up with a fitting tribute to our namesake, Warren G. Harding. What do people think? Would anyone buy a t-shirt or mug with him on it? Please add your comments below. - if there’s enough demand, we’ll figure out a way to sell them (and if anyone has suggestions for the best way to do that, please let us know - thanks).