Martin Eisenstadt’s Blog

Through the looking glass…. The hoax version of the New York Times put out by the infamous Yes Men actually put me on the cover, and then wrote a long piece describing how two losers are claiming to be me in order to pitch a TV show. Ridiculous!

As anyone who’s been reading my blog knows, I deny any and all accusations that I somehow don’t exist. I’ve posted it before, but it’s worth doing one more time, here’s a rebuttal to the  BBC documentary, “The Last Republican” wherein I refute my naysayers (and of course, also see my responses to this series, too):

For all you fellow travelers spewing such venom in my direction, bite on this for a moment. Before I announced that I was the source for the Palin/Africa story, everyone, without exception, believed it to be true. The only question was who leaked it. Now, as a result of me outing myself, there is doubt about even the original allegations. A smell of fishiness has crept into the whole story. And MSNBC is finally being called out for its rampant biases and sloppy journalism. I believe that’s what they call “taking one for the team”.

Just a quick heads up on a project the Eisenstadt Group was just commissioned to do by the Department of Defense. SecDef Bob Gates and the DoD were very impressed by the work we did this campaign and our outreach to the youth in particular, so they’ve asked us to put together some recruiting tools to help America win our war in Iraq - before an Obama administration decimates their budget (and announces our withdrawal). Given the nature of the work, I’m not at liberty to reveal too much about it yet, but stay tuned and in a couple of weeks, we should be able to show what we’ve done. Regardless of who takes the helm at Defense, it’s nice to know that for now, it’s an honor to serve the current administration.

I’ll keep this very brief, as I’m still recuperating from last night. It was a very emotional night for all of us who worked so hard for John McCain (and before that, for Rudy Giuliani during the primaries). It was a long road we all walked together. But as John said in his particularly elegant and gracious speech (I heard Steve Schmidt did the first draft on that himself), it’s time for the country to heal and come together behind Barack Obama. Obama also made that point in his moving speech.

With that in mind, I’ve got some assessing to do in trying to find a role for myself and the Harding Insitute to move forward into the Obama era of governance. I’ve worked some with John Podesta in the past (his Podesta Group and our Harding Institute are also in the same softball league, so we know him socially, too). Obama made a wise choice in John to head up the transition team, and also with Rahm Emmanuel as chief-of-staff. (though given Rahm’s brother’s position as a big Hollywood agent and the inspiration for Jeremy Piven, I hope this won’t mean that the Obama administration will resemble more Entourage than the West Wing…)

But I digress. It’s gratifying to hear chatter that Podesta and Emmanuel are going to be looking actively across the aisle to fill cabinet and sub-cabinet positions. It seems reasonable that like Clinton, Obama might find a moderate Republican to head up Defense in particular, and retiring Sen. Chuck Hagel’s name is clearly at the top of the list. Chuck I’ve known since he ran the USO, so I’ll be eager to see who he wants to bring into the Pentagon as the Obama administration’s versions of Paul Wolfowitz or Douglas Feith.

I’ve reached wits end with the depiction of me in the YouTube BBC documentary “The Last Republican.” This is my 4th response to the series, which seems to have concluded with me making outrageous claims about Senator McCain’s private life. Naturally, these were all taken out of context, without any regard for journalistic standards of decency. From the looks of it, this series has now ended with the posting of Part 10. But you can judge for yourself the extent to which my reputation has been maligned by watching the entire series here:
http://www.youtube.com/user/youkaysam

So we all know who’s been traveling to all the McCain events this past week, Joe “the Plumber” Wurzelbacher. Sure enough, when I got to 30 Rockefeller Center to meet up with the McCain advance team, along with many of the campaign staff, there was Joe. I guess it was too late in the planning of the show to incorporate him on the broadcast (well, that’s what Obama supporter Lorne Michaels told us), but Joe was in the back row with me laughing up a storm as the Senator and Cindy did their QVC routine and then again when John appeared on “Weekend Update.” Just as the Palin team had promised, the real excitement was at the after-party.

As popular as John and Cindy were at the party, the real star was Joe. Over 6 feet, tan, with rippling muscles and a beaming smile of disbelief, he was like Mr. Clean at a soap convention. As you can imagine with the embodiment of Joe Six Pack, Joe the Plummer can hold his liquor, that’s for sure. While we were downing shots of Makers Mark, Joe got buttonholed by Ben Affleck’s agent (Patrick-something from Endeavor, I think?) There was some serious talk about Joe appearing as the star on the next season of The Bachelor. Whether McCain wins or loses, believe me, Joe Wurzelbacher has already come out a winner.

But as night wore on to early morning, Joe finally got some “quality” alone time with a certain female cast member. I’m not that familiar with the show, but I know it wasn’t Tina Fey or Amy Poehler. The skinny brunette, I think it was. Kirsten, maybe? Joe’s got good taste: she’s definitely hotter in person. And judging by her taste in plumbers, maybe a closet Republican. I didn’t see what time they left, but it wouldn’t surprise me if someone got her drain snaked last night. Politics sure makes strange bedfellows! (I ran into Joe this morning at the hotel - see picture - and ever the gentleman, he refused to reveal more than his mile-wide grin.)

Update: To be fair, and now seeing some of the comments below, I should say that even I wasn’t always a fan of the Senator’s use of Joe in that third debate. Some of you may remember what I wrote about him at the time. But especially now that I’ve met Joe, I think he’s actually been a huge asset to the campaign. And I asked him if he was upset by all the scrutiny into his private life and his family tree, and thankfully he gets it: All that failed effort by the left blogosphere to prove he was some kind of “plant” or “mole” only shone the spotlight on him that much more, and made him more of a hero to the right. And a bona fide celebrity, to boot.

Now, as to claims originally reported on the Huffington Post that the cast member I was referring to denied any tryst because “she has a boyfriend”.   Well, I can’t say anything for 100% certain as I was drinking the Maker’s Mark, but that doesn’t sound like much of a defense.   What leftie artist type employed by NBC wouldn’t deny cheating on her boyfriend, with the poster boy of the Republican Party no less.   But a few double espressos and a Xanax later, I don’t doubt that she had genuinely forgotten the whole thing. So be it. I’m not in the business of casting personal attacks on random celebrities.

Two weeks ago I broke the story in this blog that Barack Obama was scheduled to appear on the November 1st episode of Saturday Night Live. One of Sarah Palin’s aides had overheard a drunken Seth Meyers at the SNL afterparty saying as much. My post was picked up throughout the mainstream media, gossip columns and political blogosphere (everything from the LA Times to Huffington Post to The Weekly Standard). Now comes the confirmation from Seth Meyers that while Obama had been invited, because of his desperate 11th-hour campaign schedule he likely won’t be there.

But John McCain will be on SNL. Why? Apparently Lorne Michaels was so embarrassed and bristled by my blog that tied his invitation to Obama to Michaels’ $4,600 donation to his campaign, that he (and his bosses at GE) were forced to backtrack and invite McCain instead. Michaels apparently got called to the carpet from the GE bigwigs, whose eponymous political action committee, General Electric Company Political Action Committee or GEPAC, makes massive donations to Republican causes that dwarf Michael’s maxed-out contribution to Obama. For example, GEPAC gave

• $30,000 to the National Republican Senatorial Committee
• $30,000 to the National Republican Congressional Committee
• $7500 to the Republican Majority Fund
• $9000 to the (Republican) Senate Majority Fund
• $4000 to convicted Sen. Ted Stevens
• $5000 to 21st Century Majority Fund
• $4000 to Rep. Michele Bachman
• $10,000 to the Committee for the Preservation of Capitalism
• $8500 to Every Republican is Crucial (ERICPAC)
• $5000 to the Freedom & Democracy Fund (no longer affiliated with my own Harding Institute for Freedom & Democracy)

All together, it adds up to well over $1.2 million. (to be sure, they give money to the Dems, too, but way more to the GOP). And yes, this is starting to feel like an episode of 30 Rock, with Alec Baldwin’s fictional Republican GE executive Jack Donaghy taking Tina Fey’s Liz Lemon to task for inviting Barack Obama onto The Girlie Show. Welcome to the NBC funhouse!

Update: Nov. 1- afternoon - Just got word from the campaign that since I was the one credited with the jiu-jitsu of getting McCain invited to appear, I’ve been invited to go behind-the-scenes with the McCain entourage during the show. I’m writing this on the Acela as we speak, heading up to New York. From what Sarah Palin’s staff told me the last time she was there, the show’s a blast to see in person, but the real action is at the after party. If I’m not still recovering, I’ll let you know how it goes on Sunday or Monday.

I spoke with Charlie Black and the good news is that the campaign internals are showing the race is tightening. The pendulum is swinging back toward John McCain’s way. In the meantime, I still felt it was essential that I rebut the latest installments of that dubious BBC documentary series “The Last Republican.” I’ve already spoken with legal counsel about my options for redress. I’ve been taken out of context, and it’s clear now that the so-called documentarian, Samantha Hensington, had a personal vendetta against me. Danny videotaped my latest response:

As promised, here’s my response to the encounter with the so-called “community activist” whom we met in Los Angeles. Just look at those words: take out the end of “community” and the beginning of “activist” and squish them togther. What do you get? COMMUN…IST. Coincidence, or just plain chance? I think watching all those BBC documentaries inspired Danny. He gets a little fancy with the editing of my latest response:

Off-topic: Kudos to my friend Debbie Schlussel who takes the LA Times to task for plagiarizing her excellent reporting.

And now I see that the next episode of “The Last Republican” has been posted. At least in this one, I’m given a chance to explain exactly how I get quoted out of context so many times. On the other hand, there are at least two times in this video where I know for a fact that footage was manipulated to make it appear as if I had said racially derogatory terms for Chinese and Japanese-Americans. All, apparently in an attempt to undercut the argument I made that I had not insulted Indian-Americans. And now I see in some comments below that even the term “Eskimo tan” is racially insensitive. To whom I ask? The eskimos? Trust me, if global warming is as dire as Al Gore says, then the eskimos can finally waltz around in bikinis. And then maybe Sarah Palin and her fellow Alaskans won’t need spray-on tans, but they might need Brazilian waxes (unless, of course, that’s derogatory towards Brazilians).