Okay. Now that it’s clear that Obama has screwed up again, and that Gadaffi is, in fact, strong enough to defeat his opponents and stay in power, what does America do next? We all know why the French pushed for this war, because they’re the only Western power with zero oil contracts in that country. But why should we, who have been treated well by Libya, alienate the family that awarded us these contracts and who will clearly emerge victorious in this battle between war lords?
As I’ve written before, I have worked with the Gaddafi family for the better part of ten years, and if America could find a graceful exit to this quagmire, I have no doubt that the family would be willing to forgive Obama’s betrayal and re-embrace us as brothers. I mean, what message does it send to our friends and enemies that of all the countries we could have attacked, we chose Libya, which not even six years ago renounced terrorism and publicly came over to our side?
I listened to the President’s speech, so I understand his supposed rationale for entering this conflict. We needed to make an example out of someone to keep the region from going completely haywire, so we chose a leader that has no friends and a landscape that is flat, non-urban and without trees so a no fly zone could actually make a difference. In other words, sure, we’ll stop genocide but only if the perpetrator is friendless and lives in an open desert. What kind of message is that to be sending to our allies, adversaries and the young people of this planet? That when America needs a scapegoat, it chooses a friend, someone who opened his fields to our oil companies and joined us in the war against Al-Qaeda. If you’re going to sacrifice someone, I say, make it someone who resisted you, like Syria or Iran, as a lesson to others.
Let me reiterate who the opposition in Libya is; Al Qaeda and Hezbollah. And to my African-American brothers and sisters, let us not forget that many of Gaddafi’s best fighters are black Africans. It is the opposition that is arbitrarily killing black Africans under the pretense that they are on the side of Gaddafi.
And the most important point I leave for last: Gaddafi is going to win (unless we commit boots to the ground, which is not going to happen), which means he’ll continue sitting on enough oil and capital to make a real difference to our struggling economy. Just think about it: Instead of closing fire houses and libraries, we could be opening new businesses and expanding employment.
As those of you who read my column know, I have developed a particularly close relationship with Al Saadi-Gaddafi over the years, and he has reassured me that if America tacitly resists the French and allows Gaddafi to retain his power, “no grudge will be held. The opposite, as a gesture of gratitude, we will continue to invest our petro dollars in your country. As any economist will tell you, in ten years time, SWF holdings (Sovereign Wealth Funds, read: Arab oil money) will equal the entire American GDP. That 33 billion that your government seized is nothing, less troublesome than a mosquito bite. One of my brothers, who shall remain nameless, could go through that in a weekend. So as America’s infrastructure and cities crumble, please know that you can have a friend in the Libyan people, if you so choose. We’d be more than happy to help you pay your firefighters and keep your libraries open. How much would that cost? Less than your president is spending dropping bombs on innocent people, camels and livestock. Like I’m known to say, look to the future, not the past. The French are the past. SWF’s are the future. So I beseech you, don’t let those back-stabbing French cowards, who instigated this war for purely economic reasons, as they’re the only country without current oil contracts in our country, push you into a conflict that is clearly against your national interest. I love America. I have been there many times. And not just to Los Angeles and Miami. To Kentucky even, where one of my brothers owns a racetrack. Even here in Libya, I watch Entourage and my new favorite, Boardwalk Empire. And because I feel to the American people like I do a brother, I offer you the chance to change your bet and pick the horse that we all know, in the end, will win.”
I’m not saying I agree with every word uttered by my former client, but in the interest of saving our once great country from a humiliating and crushing debacle, I think we should at least listen to what this self-proclaimed lover of America has to say.