Martin Eisenstadt’s Blog

In an interview in the U.K., my dear friend and sometimes nemesis Sarah Palin denies the “rumors” that she didn’t know that Africa is a continent.  Now I know you can be a tad touchy and uncomfortable when discussing matters pertaining to intelligence, grammar and/or education, but Sarah, that wasn’t a “rumor”, at least as defined by the Webster dictionary.  There, “rumor” is defined as “talk or opinion widely disseminated with no discerning source.”  Well, here there clearly was a discerning source and his name is Carl Cameron of FOX and he even expressed his “sourciness” on TV.   Behold the clip (at the bottom).

So just to be precise, a trait even your foes respect in you, what you call a rumor was actually a “leak” from one or more McCain insiders (who saw you up close and spent significant time with you) to Carl Cameron, hardly a liberal apologist.  As the “insider” credited with making that leak, I thought I would set the record straight.   And if you doubt me, I even wrote a book about it which you’re more than welcome to purchase on Amazon.

It is a dangerous precedent for the United States of America to support civil uprisings against shrewd and heavily-armed, secular governments that side with us in the War against Terror.  And who am I to make such a bold statement?  I was a foreign poilcy advisor to John McCain, and I have intimately known members of the Gaddafi family for more than a decade now.  I was even mentioned in Wikileaks.    

And I quote, “A friend of Al Saadi el-Gaddafi, Martin Eisenstadt, a Washington-based consultant and campaign advisor, arrived in Tripoli Airport in the same plane as the playboy, football-playing son.  Apparently, they met through a Russian oligarch, at least according to Eisenstadt, after he’d guzzled four straight vodkas at the embassy bar.  What exactly Eisenstadt’s role in the release of the Lockerbie bomber was we cannot gauge.  But it does appear that al-Saadi trusts and depends on him.”

Granted, there are elements in this cable I should take umbrage, if not issue, with, like the implication that Al Saadi is a skirt chaser when, in fact, the opposite is true.  It’s the women who seek him out.  That just comes along with being a professional athlete, something we in America should have no problem with.  Are our NBA players any different?  In person, Al Saadi is actually humble and giving and beloved by the people.  A real mentsch, just so you know.       

So why have we chosen to isolate Libya as a pariah state?  You don’t think the Clinton, Bush and Pelosi families also enjoy decadent lives, just like the Gaddafi offspring?  I would venture to say that our oligarchs own and spend even more.  So what are we fussing about?  This is America.  We believe in capitalism, remember. I mean, what do you think would happen if Tea Partiers seized the Midwest or African-Americans killed the white sheriffs and took over the South?  We too would retaliate and subdue the rebel forces by any means necessary.

So let’s not get our panties too much in a bunch here and remember that Gaddafi is a wise man, wise enough to stay in power for 41 years, through Cold Wars and hot wars.  I mean, what can be more stable than a regime that’s lasted 41 years?  And he’s truly a genuine friend of the West.  I can attest to that as I have lay beside him in his tent on more than one occasion.  So why is there currently turmoil on the shores of Tripoli?  Because of Al Qaeda.  They are the ones fomenting this uprising for they seek to turn the eastern half of Libya into the next Afghanistan as part of a larger global jihad strategy.  Mark my words.  What the Somali pirates are doing in the Red Sea will now become de rigeur for the Mediterranean.   

That’s why it is more important now than ever to support the current regime in its time of struggle.  Libyans are a proud people who’ve given the world many great things.  For those of you who forget your American history, Tripoli is even lauded in the official Marine Corps hymn.  Which is why I adamantly suggest that Obama is making a historically fatal mistake.  He is picking the wrong side again, I would argue, because of faulty information provided to him by his Trotsky-leaning State Department.  That’s why we at the Harding Institute are so committed to broadening the public debate about this high impact political issue.

At this point, like Charlie Sheen, no matter what the Gaddafis do or say, they will be branded by the liberal, tabloid media as insane or barbaric, when in fact those of us in the know will tell you that the opposite is true.  The Gaddafis are a proud family unit simply trying to prevent terrorist fundamentalists from turning their homeland into the jihad generating incubator of the 21^st century.  And I’m sorry.  The billions of dollars that Western oil and telecommunication companies would lose as a result of undesirables taking over Libya is simply unacceptable given the current challenges facing the global economy. 

So America, I beseech you.  Take a moment to think and breathe.  What is so barbaric about a government defending its sovereignty from secessionists?  And how can we condemn the Gaddafi family for its wealth and its travel?  Do our elites not roll in the same manner?  Do they not stay at expensive hotels.?  Are they not accompanied by bodyguards?  Do they not jet set and throw parties?  So let’s stop judging others and together re-think our Libya policy so we don’t end up painting the whole region with a broad patronizing stroke, but rather judge each uprising separately and with a discerning eye to American interests. 

If interested in sitting down with and/or interviewing Al Saadi el-Gaddafi or even his eminence Muammar himself, please contact my assistant Danny Sadler at dannysadler@hardingintitute.org.      

It is with controlled giddiness that I announce that it was I, Martin Eisenstadt, of “Sarah Palin didn’t know Africa was a continent” fame who authored the most talked about media stunt of the year, the anonymous novel “O”.  In the next few days, my editors at Simon and Schuster will fill in some blanks and answer any pertinent questions you might have while I commence a seven city book tour that the IFC channel will be filming for an upcoming reality show.   

To be honest, the plan I had with Simon and Schuster was to keep the guessing game going at least through March. But secrets in Washington hold like grape jelly through a pair of fishnet stockings. Judging by the number of tweets I’ve been getting from suspicious friends in the media, the truth was about to come out - it was only a matter of time - and if there’s one thing I know in Washington, it’s that if anyone’s going to define you, it should probably be you.

To those paying attention, you should have seen this coming.  My last book (”I Am Martin Eisenstadt” from Farrar, Straus, Giroux at Macmillan) was a critically-acclaimed success that was erroneously mistaken by many as a fictional “novel.” So now it shouldn’t come as a surprise that my new book - which actually is a novel - is being treated as fact in some Washington circles.  As my friend, the soon-to-be-departed Joe Lieberman likes to say, “Go figga.”

It was none other than my other good friend, The Washington Post’s chief book reviewer Ron Charles who told me point blank last year that “your publisher keeps accidentally sending me your book, but I only review fiction!” Of course if he had read it, he might have seen the syntactical and punctuational similarities between books and not embarrassed himself by failing to guess who the anonymous author of “O” was in his recent review:

The publisher is being coy, claiming it was written by someone who “has been in the room with Barack Obama,” which means we can rule out Kim Jong Il, but just about everybody else is still fair game.

My only regret was having to deceive friends like Ron for the last year: Hunching over my keyboard every time Anderson Cooper sat next to me on the Acela; forced to make petty smalltalk about Chinese currency restructuring at Georgetown cocktail parties lest I blurt out the truth; and downright lying to my editors at Farrar, Straus, Giroux that I wasn’t “cheating” behind their backs with Simon and Schuster. In a constant state of paranoia, I’d panic every time I heard a Carly Simon song. Yes, I thought, it really was about me.

You see, I played an integral role in the selling of the Iraq war to the American people, a cause I look back on with pride and gratitude.  So you can say, I learned a thing or two about how to string along my esteemed colleagues in the Fourth Estate.   But it was a fair battle for a noble cause, and we all did what we thought was right at the time.  

So excuse me if I appear flustered, but four years ago crashing in my mother’s basement, I never imagined that not only would the Eisenstadt Group survive to the next budget year, but that I would rapidly emerge as a critical media figure.   It just goes to prove what my hero Ronald Reagan liked to say, “if you’re smart, work hard, and go to church or temple, America will bless with you bounty.”  That’s right.  I believe in American exceptionalism and I’m not ashamed to admit it. 

But still, you ask, how could one person have been an insider in both the McCain and Obama campaigns and then managed to wrangle double digit publishing deals with two separate elite corporations?  Welcome to Washington, and that is the point of both insider tell-all books that I authored.  “I am Martin Eisenstadt” exposes the dangers and foibles of Japanese-shoe shilling Sarah Palin and her Goebbels-esque puppeteer Randy Scheunemann while “O” reminds us that as Dante instructs, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”. 

Because of these two books, my version of both the 2008 and now 2012 Presidential campaigns will be the one remembered by future generations.  That’s something to think about.  I will be featured in documentaries, asked to join panels and foundations, but let’s not let this article be about me or any other specific individual.  

Like WikiLeaks, I represent a new era of politics where nothing can be kept secret no matter how hard we try, and my pitch to you is instead of hiding from this onslaught of openness, let’s own it.   The Buddhists say that money is like water flowing over rocks.  It is resilient.  It will survive and soon dominate anywhere it is poured.  So let’s trust that even in a society where any former business partner can write horrible things about you and have that be the second entry on your Google page for eternity,  money can still be made and saved, if you’re smart, and smart I am. 

Ask anybody, Marty Eisenstadt delivers for his clients.  I’ve worked on six presidential campaigns.  I have a locker next to David Gergen at the Washington Golf and Country Club.  I know how Congress works.  And I know how the mind of your average American works even better.  So this campaign season, whether you need polling expertise, media manipulation or professional-looking, bitingly funny commercials for your candidate, I’m your man.   For God’s sake, I’m a twice-published author.  That must count for something.  Wishing all of America a blessed new year.  And please tune in to see me this Friday on “Hardball” when I square off against Chris Mathews and the rest of that pro-Pope Irish cabal over at MSNBC.  LOL

The whole Olbermann flap over political contributions misses the point of the unholy alliance of money, the media and the punditocracy.  The question isn’t who are news correspondents giving their money to - which is all in the public record if, like me, you look hard enough at FEC reports.  But rather, who’s GIVING money to these journalistically self-styled soothsayers.  If I’m worried about the undo influence of a bribe, I look for who’s getting, not who’s giving.

To that end, a good place to start would be full disclosure of extracurricular speech making income for all TV journalists and pundits.  Newsweek, in its inaugural “Power 50” list of the highest paid pundits just last week made the point that Keith Olbermann doesn’t give many paid speeches.  But as for his colleagues, that’s another story.

For example, at the allegedly prestigious Washington Speaker’s Bureau (motto: “Connecting You with the World’s Greatest Minds”), here is a quick list of MSNBC and NBC regulars who are eligible to receive legal, but undisclosed, sums of money from the highest bidders:  Chris Matthews, Andrea Mitchell, Norah O’Donnell, Lawrence O’Donnell, Mike Barnicle, Michelle Bernard, Tom Brokaw, Pat Buchanan, Jim Cramer, Bob Dotson, Willie Geist, David Gregory, Mark Halperin, Phil Lempert, Eugene Robinson, Luke Russert, Joe Scarborough and Richard Wolffe.

Of course, NBC’s not alone.  CNN’s paid pundits and anchors who can be booked for a fee include:  Paul Begala, Gloria Borger, Donna Brazile, James Carville, Alex Castellanos, Anderson Cooper, David Gergen and Howard Kurtz

And to round out the WSB’s roster of pundits with their hands out, here’s a few from other news organizations:

CBS: Katie Couric, Greg Gumbel, Bob Schieffer

ABC: Christiane Amanpou, Ann Compton, George Stephanopoulos

PBS: Gwen Ifill, Jim Lehrer

Bloomberg: Charlie Rose, Margaret Carlson

FOX: Bret Baier, Fred Barnes, Morton Kondracke, William Kristol, Sarah Palin

Huffington Post: Arianna Huffington

And that’s just from one speaker’s bureau.  Premiere Speakers Bureau in Franklin, Tennessee, also can book you Glenn Beck, Mike Huckabee, Sean Hannity, Dick Morris and more!

If the Juan Williams debacle taught us anything it’s that it matters who’s paying our pundits. When networks describe their pundits as “political analysts” and “contributors” it’s unclear if they’re being paid by the networks for their unbiased opinions, or if they’re shilling for the trade association who flew them to Pebble Beach the week before.  The FEC discloses individual political contributions just fine.  But now when are the networks and speakers bureaus going to follow suit?

My loyal fans know that I’ve long had issues with MSNBC, specifically related to GE’s and Lorne Michaels‘ campaign contributions, but I’ve also had a soft spot for Keith Olbermann who once referred to me on air.  So like my fellow neocon pundit (and sometime squash-partner) Bill Kristol, I’d like to weigh in on Keith’s defense:

Perhaps one reason MSNBC’s Phil Griffin suspended Keith Olbermann last week has to do with their new boss being a big contributor to the National Republican Campaign Committee - the very committee that was helping to defeat the candidates that Olbermann was supporting. Steve Burke, the Comcast exec who will be taking the CEO reigns at NBC/Universal has personally contributed $19,500 to the National Republican Campaign Committee over the last four years, including $5,000 this year alone, according to FEC filings, plus $2,000 to incoming House Majority Leader Eric Cantor. According to Public Citizen, Burke, who was appointed to George W. Bush’s President’s Council of Advisers on Science and Technology was also a major fundraiser for George W. Bush’s reelection campaign - an official “Ranger”! - raising at least $200,000.

And just for good measure, Griffin’s current boss, GE’s CEO Jeffrey Immelt personally gave $10,000 to the NRCC this year, too. So the real question is whose job was Griffin really worried about: Olbermann’s, or his own?

So maybe Griffin reinstated Olbermann today because he also realized that the political action committees of both General Electric and Comcast are frequent supporters of two of the same candidates to whom Olbermann contributed money. If Olbermann was looking at who else besides him gave money to the campaigns of Rep. Gabrielle Giffords and Rep. Raul Grijalva - both Democrats running for reelection in Arizona - he might have thought he was in good company.

According to FEC filings, General Electric Company Political Action Committee (GEPAC) has given $7,750 to Gabrielle Giffords‘ campaigns over the years (including $4,500 for this campaign cycle). GEPAC has also contributed $5,000 to Raul Grijalva over the years, though those contributions ended in 2007. GEPAC did not contribute to either Giffords’ or Grijalva’s opponents this year. Nor did it contribute to either Kentucky Democratic Senate candidate Jack Conway (whom Olbermann did) or his opponent, Rand Paul.

NBC/Universal’s soon-to-be new owner is Comcast, which also has an active PAC. Comcast’s PAC has given $8,000 to Giffords’ campaigns (including $2,000 for her 2010 reelection effort), and it’s donated $5,000 to Grijalva’s campaigns (including $2,500 for this campaign).

Griffin might have also checked in with Steve Burke’s wife, Gretchen Burke. Identified by FEC filings as a “non-employed/homemaker,” she contributed $17,600 to Democratic candidates this campaign season, plus $2,500 to the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee. If Gretchen’s ultimately the one controlling the remote (and the checkbook) at the Burke house, Olbermann’s and Griffin’s jobs seem secure.

In conclusion, probably the one guy who should start to worry is the NBC employee who really does have the power to influence an election: my good friend Lorne Michaels (who in this election cycle alone, gave $1000 to Al Franken’s Midwest Values PAC, and $4800 to losing Missouri Democratic congressional candidate Tommy Sowers).

As some of you may have noticed, I’ve been a little quiet this election season - choosing to forgo very many punditing offers (yes, even subbing for Shepard Smith!) in lieu of working on a campaign.  You loyal fans who’ve read my book know the best way to climb the rungs of the punditocracy is to occasionally work on the most losing campaigns (see Joe Trippi).  So what better way to elevate my status than working on the highest-profile, 17-point loss of the election?

The only person who will come out of the election doing better than me is Christine herself:  She’s gone from a fringe candidate in a glorified city-state, to a national celebrity on the verge of book deals, reality shows and fist-pumping rallies.  If she hadn’t spent so much attention on abstinence at an early age, even her kids would today be invited to Dance with the Stars.  With Sarah Palin’s hand-picked Senate candidate losing in Alaska to a write-in candidate, Christine is the new Sarah.

Remember Christine O’Donnell’s “I’m Not a Witch Ad”?  I’m very proud to say that was my handiwork. Did I know it would be mocked on Saturday Night Live?  Of course I did.  Who do you think leaked an early cut to his old friend Lorne Michaels? (Again, for those of you who’ve read my book, you know that I have a special relationship with Lorne.)  Why?  Because I knew from the ‘08 election that being parodied on SNL was Sarah Palin’s ticket to national stardom - earning her $14 million a year as the #6 most powerful pundit in America (according to Newsweek).

And why a witch? Because I also knew that on Halloween - just three nights before the election - the country would be crawling with 2 million little girls in “Christine O’Donnell” costumes knocking door-to-door ostensibly asking for candy - yes - but in reality spreading “brand awareness” for Christine. How many Sarah Palin costumes did you see on Halloween, and how many witches?  Case closed.

I was proud to work for Christine O’Donnell this election.  I succeeded in transforming her into a national figure and for that, I expect to be justly rewarded in the upcoming punditing season (hear that, Newsweek!).

My only regret was turning on CanadianTV right before the election (for some reason my Best Western in Dover only got Canadian cable - I told you Delaware was barely a state). Who did I see punditing about the Jon Stewart/Stephen Colbert rally, but none other than Dan Mirvish - one of those patsy opportunist charlatans who once claimed to be me! And just to rub salt in the wounds, he intentionally appeared with a stack of MY books not so subtly arranged right behind him. Canadians can be so gullible: Putting on a fake pundit who claims to have created a real pundit, and then punditing about the fake pundits holding a real rally.  All I can say is God bless America!

I don’t know about you, but I’m still recovering from last week’s NPR debacle over Juan Williams. So I nearly choked on my bialy this morning at Some Guy’s Bagels in Dover when I leaned over Maureen Dowd’s shoulder and glanced at her iPad version of the Los Angeles Times.  In an article about the South African rap group “Die Antwoord,” Times Calender staffer Chris Lee wrote:

Frowning, his face a grave rictus of sober intent, he added: “Conceptual art, I don’t even know what that is.” For now, neither fans, art lovers nor the machers controlling record label purse strings seem to care.

Nevermind that mentioning a “rictus” does not seem to be appropriate in a family newspaper, the thing that struck me was the phrase “the machers controlling record label purse strings.”  To use an intentionally italicized Yiddish word to describe not just any record label executives, but specifically the ones “controlling [the] purse strings” is about as subtle as Rick Sanchez complaining about the not-so-oppressed Jews who run the TV business.

In light of Juan Williams’ brilliant move to say something so inflammatory to get him simultaneously out of his NPR contract and hired for a $2 million deal on FOX, perhaps this is the new paradigm for ambitious minority journalists unhappy with their current employers:  Say something so politically incorrect that you’ll not only get fired, but insure that Sarah Palin and her Tea Party ilk will rally to your defense and Roger Ailes at FOX will have to give you a fat contract worth far more than you were making before.  If that’s the case, then Chris Lee is a genius for jumping the leaking ship that is the LA Times. (And don’t get me wrong, despite never actually reviewing my critically-acclaimed book, the LA Times did still refer to me at “important, tall, wise and handsome” so I generally quite like them).

At this rate, by month’s end FOX news will be filled with so many black, Latino and Asian pundits and reporters, it’ll start to look like Amy Goodman’s annual Christmahanakwanzika party at Pacifica Radio headquarters.  If my good friend Bill O’Reilly was really thinking, he’d be a bit concerned:  Are Williams, Sanchez and now Lee really just sleeper agents for the liberal media elites?  Maybe the so-called “machers” at CNN, NPR and the LA Times realized they couldn’t ever beat Rupert Murdoch and FOX news by traditional means, so they’ve come up with an insidious plan to infiltrate FOX from the inside out.  Never let it be said that the Jews who control the media are idiots.

Also, does anyone know how to get cream cheese off an iPad?  Maureen can be pretty unforgiving.

It is with mixed emotions that I report that major media players have started using my “how to fire an on-air personality” strategy without paying me or giving me the proper credit, but what else is new?   They’ve been doing it to my dear friend Debbie Schlussel for many years now.

Rick Sanchez wasn’t fired because he is dumb as a door knob and insults even stupid people’s intelligence, but because he offended Jews on some radio show.  Juan Williams wasn’t fired because of his second gig as a FOX contributor, but because he “crossed the line” in insulting Muslims.  “Bait and switch” was what we used to call this move in Young Americans for Freedom (YAF) summer camp.

In Rick’s case, per my advice, it was he who initiated the controversy.  His protector Jonathan Klein over at CNN had just been fired and it was pretty apparent that Rick was next.  Because I’m half Jewish and an expert in the dark art of political chicanery, Rick came to me seeking my advice.

I told him flat out, insult the Jews, get fired for that, and then when everyone’s tuning into your apology, set the record straight and position yourself for the next gig.  And it would have worked if not for Rick deciding to improvise and use his apology to advocate for more “people of color” on TV.  As Frank Luntz whispered to me over pancakes the other day, “our polling tells us that white Americans want to see less “people of color” on TV, not more.”  The whole reason I counseled Rick to go after the Jews was to rile up the conspiracy-minded Tea Partiers.  Makes sense, right?  You accuse “them” of controlling the media and then when you’re fired, well, wow, you just proved it.

So what was that dumpkoff thinking using his apology to advocate for more people of color on TV?  First off, you’re not a “person of color”. Last time I checked, Europeans whose ancestors passed through Cuba as colonialists and slave owners are not considered persons of color.  As my uncle Morris used to say, eating humus does not make you an Arab.  What can I tell you?  A white person calling himself a “person of color” who the elites are trying to keep off the air just doesn’t pass the proverbial “average Joe” smell test.   It’s like the 5 foot 2, cross-eyed amputee who thinks the NFL is trying to keep him out of football because Terry Bradshaw doesn’t like Filipinos.  Did I just insult Filipinos?  Or did I insult Terry Bradshaw?  See.  The strategy works.  It’s like six degrees of separation.

Now in the case of NPR, it seems to be the media outlet, as opposed to the on-air personality,  that took my advice without crediting me, which hurts even more, considering the rumors of my past romantic involvement with Ellen Weiss, Juan William’s former boss at NPR.  By firing Juan for being insensitive to Muslims, they generated tons of free press and attention for their forgotten news network.  Anyhow, they were going to fire him for his double dipping at FOX, but by doing it this way, NPR was able to garner an avalanche of free press, thus boosting its ratings and improving the likelihood that a Democratic congress will increase its funding.

It’s good to see that our media elites are not above seeking and using my counsel.  I just wish they had the decency to credit me and to return my phone calls even when they don’t need something from me.   But that’s Washington for you.  Live and learn.

ps. And for those of my fans who have said, “Marty, you’ve been so quiet lately - where’ve you been?” All I can say is it’s been a very busy campaign season and while I’m not at liberty to say who my clients have been, let me just note that “I’m Not a Witch” campaign ads don’t write themselves.

I’m not the only one who’s noticed tabloid website RadarOnline’s single-minded obsession with my client Mel Gibson (see my last post here). The Los Angeles Times wrote about it just the other day. But I believe I am the first to notice this curious connection: David J. Pecker, Chairman and CEO of American Media, which owns RadarOnline, has personally given $4000 to Rahm Emanuel’s campaigns over the years, and $14,350 to Emmanuel pal Harry Reid and the Nevada Democratic Party this year alone, according to FEC records.

As you may know, Rahm Emmanuel - President Obama’s Chief of Staff - happens to be the brother of Ari Emanuel, CEO of the William Morris Endeavor (WME) agency, who fired Mel Gibson as a client last week. Ari (often referred to as the model for Entourage’s Ari Gold) famously has gone on the record castigating Mel Gibson for his anti-semitic remarks.

Update: Some have doubted any direct link between RadarOnline and Ari Emanuel’s William Morris Endeavor, so my crack research staff figured it out:  Remember Octomom? In August, 2009, Fox aired a special called “Octomom: The Incredible Unseen Footage.”  According to Entertainment Weekly, the show was produced by Craig Piligian, and based on exclusive footage shot by RadarOnline. Guess who’s Pilian’s agent? None other than Sean Perry - who heads up the reality show division at William Morris Endeavor. In other words, WME and RadarOnline have been in bed before, and both of them now have their fingerprints all over the Gibson scandal.

Of course, anyone who’s read my book, I Am Martin Eisenstadt: One Man’s (Wildly Inappropriate) Adventures with the Last Republicans knows full well that I had a bit of an altercation with Rahm Emmanuel at the third presidential debate during the ‘08 campaign. But if you’d read further, you’d also know that I myself am a loyal client of the William Morris Endeavor agency, and they represented me on my book deal. So I certainly don’t want to demean WME’s integrity in any way or say anything libelous about the powerful and handsome Emanuel brothers (despite the fact that they have still not attached their client Ben Affleck to a feature film where he would play me!).

Now don’t get me wrong: I’m not saying there’s some sort of vast Jewish conspiracy against Mel Gibson. Of course not. (Since I’m half-Jewish myself, I wouldn’t know which side of the conspiracy to be on.) But as I said before: This does strike me as some sort of delayed cultural payback for Mr. Gibson exercising his freedom of expression for his film “The Passion of the Christ.” In any case, it’s worth remembering what my old friend Deep Throat once told Woodward and Bernstein: Follow the money.

PS: I’d wager that John Edwards would also be mighty curious to see the connection between the National Enquirer and Rahm Emanuel. You’ll recall that it was the Enquirer that nearly got a Pulitzer for exposing Edwards’ indiscretions during the ‘08 campaign. Coincidence? Or just plain chance.

I’m finding that representing a titan of American entertainment like Mel Gibson can be quite challenging for a contrition crisis management consultant such as myself.  While it’s gratifying to see that certain gossipy websites like HollyScoop are responsibly covering the story, there are other less reputable sites such as RadarOnline who continually try to pour gasoline on the inflammatory personal life of Mr. Gibson. I had my own run-in with Radar when one of their so-called reporters, wrote this to my assistant Danny the other day:

Please contact me on 323 658 2xxx

Danny replied:

From: Danny [mailto:daniel.sadler@eisenstadtgroup.com]
Sent: Thursday, July 15, 2010 12:31 PM
To: Renfrew, Cliff
Subject: Cliff - thanks for the email…

Cliff - Sorry, but I’m not authorized to speak directly to reporters myself. But if you’re interested in speaking with my boss, Martin Eisenstadt, CEO of the EisenstadtGroup, I’m happy to pass on the message and have him call you. thanks, Danny

To which the curt Cliff replied:

I do not think you guys are legitimate please call me asap 323 658 2xxx.

 Cliff Renfrew

So I did. I left a nice message on Mr. Renfrew’s answering machine, and despite my busy travel days (as you can imagine, it’s been a little hectic around the office), I dictated the following email, which Danny promptly sent from my account:

From: MartyEisenstadt [mailto:martin@eisenstadtgroup.com]
Sent: Thursday, July 15, 2010 2:50 PM
To: Renfrew, Cliff
Cc: daniel.sadler@eisenstadtgroup.com
Subject: Cliff - re: Mr. Gibson

Cliff - per your request, I just left a message on your phone.  Forgive me, I’m traveling today, and Danny had a hard time reaching me earlier.

 

As for your email, I must say that to hear a tabloid site that’s been trafficking in unconfirmed audiotapes from Mr. Gibson questioning MY legitimacy gave me a little chuckle.  But I respect your chutzpah and I’m happy to answer your questions.

 

As to the issue at hand, we think those accusing Mr. Gibson show that this is another example of the Hollywood and Washington elites misreading the mood of the country. I find it a curious coincidence that the release of these alleged tapes was timed to the death of Mr. Gibson’s longtime agent Ed Limato, followed closely by Ari Emanuel’s swift dismissal of Mr. Gibson from the William Morris Endeavor agency.  The nature of Mr. Emanuel’s fraternal relationship with President Obama’s chief of staff, Rahm Emanuel, only makes me think that this has nothing to do with a man having a heated discussion with his child’s Russian mother.  Rather, this strikes me as some sort of delayed cultural payback for Mr. Gibson exercising his freedom of expression for his film “The Passion of the Christ.”  After making untold millions for his agency and for his friends in the Hollywood elite, it is sad to see their galling lack of gratitude and loyalty to him.

 

I hope that helps.

 

Sincerely,

Martin Eisenstadt

CEO & Founder, EisenstadtGroup

ME:ds

To which Mr. Renfrew of the esteemed RadarOnline replied even more curtly:

It doesn’t.

Now I’ve dealt with plenty of ochre-tinted journalists in my days in Washington, and I certainly hold no grudges against anyone who plies in the murky waters of gossip, innuendo and rumor - I wouldn’t have a career in this town if I did.  In fact, some of my best friends in Washington are so-called gossip columnists like Patrick Gavin of Politico, or Nikki Schwab of the Examiner and even Amy Argetsinger of the Washington Post (Amy, sorry I spilled that drink on you at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner - my assistant took care of the dry cleaning, right?).

But TMZ-wannabe sites like RadarOnline are becoming part of the story when they alone are dribbling out clearly edited “audiotapes” of Mr. Gibson free from the scrutiny of any legitimate journalists.  For all we know, Radar has simply edited together Mel’s monologues from his past movies (the similarities to Lethal Weapon 3 are striking) and cut them together with the voice of Anna Chapman, one of the Russian sleeper spies.